Dealing With Body Confidence.

It's easy to hide behind a bunch of flowers, somehow the buds detract from our flaws. The intricate petals, green shiny stems and delicate scent, it's easy to wilt behind natural beauty.

Sometimes I catch sight of my reflection in a shop window and am like, 'wow, I have put on weight'. I don't recognise the person staring back at me and want to curl up in a ball and snuggle under the duvet.

Another time I see myself in our full length mirror at home and feel confident with what I see. It depends on the day as to how I see myself and the size I feel. Quite possibly to do with the amount of hormones racing through my body at the time.

You see in my head I am still a size 12-14 and on paper I'm a curvy size 18-20. 

I've always had curves, always. Whether I am a smaller version of myself or a chunkier one, my big bum and boobs will always exist. 

I'm not one to shop in the petite section nor the curve lines. I can quite happily pick up nice items and pieces from the mainstream range, although my feet are a different kettle of fish and I always need the wide fitting section.

I need to stop beating myself up. 

So what if any of us head to one store and need a size 18 and then need something different from another, surely it's how the clothes fit and how they make us feel.

We can always remove the size tag from the garment if it makes us feel any better. Something I have done on many occasions.

          Dealing With A Lack Of Body Confidence.          Dealing With A Lack Of Body Confidence.

Callie Thorpe is a huge advocate for the curvier woman and speaks openly about body image and positivity. You can be sexy at size 12 or size 20 (and beyond). It's how you present yourself and whether you carry your head high and have a bright smile. As Callie herself would do, swipe on a bright lip, dress your size (in your prettiest dress) and flash that grin.

I'll be honest I've woken up this morning, crawled back into bed and feel pretty shitty. I can't even explain why. I'm not one to get the Monday blues (at time of writing) nor do I want to post negative content. I've read some of my book, had cat cuddles and made a cheese and tomato sandwich for lunch. 

The sun is shining, the wind has dropped and I'm in the mood to have a really productive day at work, storing documents on drop-box and shredding a tonne of decade old documents. 

Yet still I cannot shake this feeling. I'm not quite feeling like me. I feel downbeat. Sad.

I read somewhere that we shouldn't be so fixated with our size and how we look. Concentrate on the good parts, eat sensibly and the weight loss could follow. Of course this would take time, so in the meantime, surely we should all be a little kinder to ourselves. 

With that in mind, here are 3 things I am going to focus on to ensure I stay with a positive mindset. Let me know if you try too...

  • 01. Accept who I am RIGHT now.
It would be easy to practice self-care and show ourselves kindness once we have hit a goal. I have been guilty of this and then I have failed to reach where I want to be and for that period of time haven't shown myself much compassion or friendliness. 

Well quite frankly, it has to stop. I can still wear nice clothes and try to look put together, embracing my heavier side. Once I have the feelings about food under control and the weight falls off, I can and will still continue to be kind to myself. 

And if I haven't lost weight, I will still be kind to myself.

Dealing With A Lack Of Body Confidence.
Dealing With A Lack Of Body Confidence.
  
  • 02. Avoid the comparison trap.
Put your hands up if you're guilty of this. I don't need to tell you that Instagram can be quite damaging. There's an abundance of good looking girls (although the photos quite likely have been edited), beautifully edited homes and shots of far away golden shores. 

It's time to get real though. It's highly unlikely my burnt macaroni cheese, dusty bookshelf nor chipped mug from yonks ago will feature on my reel. Maybe that's just it though. Maybe this should change and maybe we should reflect real life and not just the edited version. If you're looking for a real girl, real life with very unedited photos, take a look at my IG account (The Georgie Weekly). Essentially it's an extension of my blog.

  • 03. Concentrate on self-esteem & celebrate the small things.
Of course, this can be hard when you lack confidence, so enhance and use the things which you are already happy about. 

Have a good head of hair? Style your hair each day; wear plaits, a funky hairband, spritz your salt-spray and scrunch up those curls. 

Great skin? Embrace your already fabulous skincare routine and wear minimal makeup to glow from within. 

You get the gist. For the other aspects you're not so crazy on, use clothing to dress for your shape, to highlight the best parts and flatter your shape. 

Make the best of what you do have and if you manage to tone up, lose weight or become fitter treat yourself to something to celebrate any small milestones you may reach. It can be just a bunch of flowers or the latest new serum from Cult Beauty.

Embracing the favourite bits of you will in turn make you feel more like Marilyn and less like Maureen (no offence to anyone called Maureen - just the first name which sprung into my head). I could have mentioned Paula. Now, I'm just making myself laugh typing away and completely off piste. 

To recap, if we work on point 01 and are kinder to ourselves, we will then be working on 03, which will hopefully build up our self-esteem, stop us reaching for the do-nuts to make ourselves feel better and then we will not have to (02) compare ourselves to that tanned, toned thing on IG - meaning we feel more fulfilled and happier with life. 

Accept who we are and others. We are all completely different in size, character and the flaws we have. I am well aware there are also girls and guys who have great figures, who also lack confidence. 

So please take this post with a pinch of salt, the light humour used and I hope if you're reading this, you can take something from it. Even if it's just laughing along with me. 
 
On a final note if there are any Maureen's, Paula's or indeed Marilyn's reading I would love to hear from you.  

This post is dedicated to you.